... And then I remembered how tired I was; how overworked I felt; how much
more there was to go. So, finally, I let the facade drop: let him realise who I
really was. Mousy-haired, drawn with weariness, not as stacked as they thought,
no longer fighting to retain enthusiasm and zest fro life: just be one of
them.

"I want friends," I whispered. "I haven't got anybody else."

I found the above scribbled on my notes from about the same time as I had my last episode. About a week before I think. Really describes how I feel right now...