Commitment

Well that was a bit pointless.... well... not pointless... just... *sighs*

Today we had a big race: the first race of the season. In fact that's why it's a big race - it was actually a relatively small competition (there were less than 20 entries in our category), but it was our first, and I was really looking forward to some proper hard-core domination.

I can't say it came as a particular surprise that we came in the bottom half of the division. What did come as a surprise was a) that when we finished more than one person was quite happily chatting away, without really even being much out of breath and that b) so many people were so ok with how badly we'd done. I for one, while not being particularly good at this sport (probably being one of the worst non-freshers still on the team in fact) work damn hard to give it my all. When we don't train hard enough I go to the gym on my own. And I may not be perfect, but when the coach says go I give it 100%. So it REALLY hacked me off that people were ok with a thoroughly mediocre performance.

Our next race is in 10 days time and it's a big one, because it's on home territory. Right now I'm pretty disheartened that we're just going to do really badly. What happened to team events guys? What happened to giving it everything because you won't just be letting yourself down? Until fairly recently I was even considering continuing to train next term. Today just reminded me how ready I am to pack it all in. And that sucks.