Feeling abandoned yet?

My lack of posting isn't due to a lack of life, it's mainly down to my computer being at my parents' house, and me uh not... I'm leaving the country on Wednesday (but will be back!) and all my stuff has gone home without me. Irritatingly my last, quite thoughtful, post appears to have disappeared! :O

So I guess I'll start with a rehashed version of that:

So the pass list is public? You mean anyone could see my degree result? But what if I did badly due to health problems?

Somewhere in the realms of student forums, a worried finalist panicked about her results. The response was candid:
Nobody's ever going to refer to you as BA Hons Lower Second Class: but her cat died on the day of her first exam.

It seems obvious - but I've begun wondering whether I don't do something very similar in the "real", non academic world. I talk about my past. A lot. My very twisted and messed up past. You may have noticed this. I had lunch with Ex about 10 days ago and had this pointed out to me. A big part of my personality involves talking about everything that came before now: the things that make me me.

But isn't it a similar kind of thing? I'm trying to justify who I am, by the circumstances that have caused it. If I'm messed up, I'm messed up. No matter what. It may help someone to know how to handle it if they know why I'm like this - but I still am. No excuses, no hiding. I'm off track, and it if hurts my relationships or my work... well knowing about the past doesn't really help does it?

Something to ponder...