Hmmm I'm beginning to think the few no-location weird IP addresses that keep coming back are bots... that's a shame.

Anyway, I'm still getting pretty worried about how unbelievably angry I keep getting, although I'm not sure this week did much to help. I mean... well there's was the time when I finally managed to catch up with my friends, as opposed to the people I was rooming with, and mentioned more than a couple of times how awful it was being stuck with people who clearly didn't want me around, only to find that right after our next mass they disappeared off without me. I wouldn't have minded so much if Wino had offered so much as an apology when I saw them back at the hotel later that night, but instead I just got told that she'd texted me from the metro when they "realised" I wasn't there (NB that my phone had no signal the whole time we were in France and she knew this) and that I was over reacting. Cue anger.

Then there was the time I got put on an escalator at a metro station, which promptly turned out to be the wrong one. By the time I got to the top and back down again they'd left. So I was alone. In a big station. Trying to find my way back to England. In a country where I speak literally none of the language. And yet again this was just "not a big deal". I mean man alive am I just subhuman or are my friends really just a bunch of little shits?

I'm sick of being this twisted up, angry, ranty little person. This was never me. Always the organiser, always the comforter, always dying a little inside but never this angry. I think my 'Academic New Years' resolution is going to be to bottle this more. If I carry on this way I'll never have any friends at all. Although maybe that's a good thing - maybe I need to learn to just be me and suck it up. I'm sick of waiting to be validated by other people.